I can’t stop thinking about that weak popular post I saw so I just want to go over a few things.
: I can’t memorise every tone tag!
• It’s okay.
• There are tools you can use, such as
this Carrd (especially practical if you love using Ctrl+F on desktop) or this BetterDiscord plugin. (Editor's note: unfortunately defunct.)
And probably more!
• If those aren’t immediately available to you, ask the person who used that tone tag you didn’t understand. If they’re using tone tags, their goal is to be understood, and as such, they should be happy to tell you what it means.
If they refuse, the problem isn’t that they’re using tone tags: the problem is that they’re a terrible person. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• If you and/or your friends can’t remember all the tone tags, there is no pressure to use them all. You can pick and choose which ones your friend group uses based on your mutual needs.
• If in any way, shape or form, tone tags make discussions more difficult for you or for your friend(s), it is not required to use them. They are a tool you
can use if you need it.
• If you don’t need or get tone tags, no one is forcing you to use them. You have no right to make fun of others for partaking in something you don’t understand (what are you, a middle-school bully?).
Honestly, you also don’t need to write a self-righteous post about whatever part of tone tags you don’t like: most of society already doesn’t use them. You’re not punching up.
Generally speaking: this is not school. You don’t have to memorise stuff by heart. You can “cheat”. You can Google. You can even write them down on a piece of paper if you like. You can also choose to use something else. There is no pressure, and if someone is putting pressure on you: they’re the problem. They have no right to.
: Why does anyone need to use tone tags?
• As you may already know, tone tags/tone indicators are made to facilitate the understanding of tone on the internet. They can be useful to virtually anyone, due to the nature of text-based conversations, but are even more so to people with anxiety, neurodivergent people, and the such.
• Yes, this may be tumblr, but most people use multiple platforms, including some with character limits. Some people also have difficulties typing in general: as such, tone tags, due to being short, can be more practical to use than typing an entire sentence explaining why and how you are joking and the other person shouldn’t worry.
• Tone tags, due to their nature and simplicity, are more likely to come off as sincere.
Due to personal experience, if I had to type “don’t worry, I’m not mad, just wondering”, I would be utterly convinced that I look like I’m being passive-aggressive. You also know that there are people who read “lol” or “lmao” as a direct attack. “/nm” and “/j” are more likely to be read as what they are: the tag indicating this sentence’s tone.
Tone tags have been liberating to many, and I have noticed, especially to neurodivergent folks. Being able to avoid misunderstandings can be a life saver.
: Are tone tags perfect?
• No. Nothing is.
• They are made to be as clear *as possible*, and accessible to a majority of people. It’s possible that you’ll find tone tags you wish existed, that don’t. It’s possible that you’ll see a tone tag and think there’s no way it’ll ever be useful. It’s possible that you don’t need tone tags. It’s possible that you need something else than tone tags. It’s all normal. It’s all manageable.
• Some of the acronyms that make up tone tags are more convoluted than others. Sometimes, you can’t figure out what they mean on your own. (Then refer back to part 1 of this post.)
But I’m French - and you know what wouldn’t make sense to someone who just learned French? “The SNCF is on strike.” What the hell is the SNCF? How am I supposed to know what these four letters stand for? Who’s striking??? …Well, I can guarantee you that most French people know that the SNCF if our national train company. And if there exists someone who struggles with the order of the acronym, or has memory issues: does it mean the people around them should stop using “SNCF” and use words they’re sure to understand? Absolutely, yes. Does that mean *everyone in the country* should stop using “SNCF”? Obviously not.
• Speaking of - tone tags are in English! It can easily be confusing if you need tone tags but speak another language. And I certainly think this part sucks.
But I still need and use tone tags.
I wouldn’t have written a whole post about tone tags and why they’re useful on my own, but - I hate to see other posts about it that are, frankly, written in bad faith. We’ve been taught to speak English… we’ve been to school. We know that we can write sentences, we know words. Tone tags still came to be for a reason.
Most importantly - it’s sad to see people claim that tone tags are making their anxiety worse. And I believe them! But in my opinion, the concept of tone tags itself isn’t the issue. It’s the pressure to remember them… which, in my opinion again, shouldn’t exist. It may come naturally with time, but first, you can ask, you can check a list. No one is telling you you should naturally know everything.
If anyone does, they’re an idiot. /srs
Bring me back to the essays list
Bring me back to the index
Did I make a mistake when writing or pasting this? Please contact me.